my secret dream

When I joined Kelly at a A Stuffed Life , to participate in this party she dreamed up, it seemed kismet at the time. I was giving a lot of deep thought to my life, where it is at, what direction it is going, what I want out of the near and far future, what are the dreams that keep me going when all else falls away.

What has become blatantly clear to me at this point in my life, is that my secret dream can no longer remain secret. It has to be revealed, so that I may start to create it. In real time, for the magic of physical manifestation, it has to be spoken.

I have been a gypsy most of my adult life. I have lived in 8 states in 13 years, in many many houses, trailers, apartments. Even a camper for the better part of a year, exploring the west coast, trying to find my PLACE. Where I felt that I could live my life , the way I wanted. I looked and plotted and chose places  at some times, and other times I watched for signs and followed the universe clues as to where I next belonged. It was at times hard, some times exhilarating, all of the time learning and growing and clarifying what is important and what, not so much. Priorities shifted, belongings left behind, friends gathered and collected in every place. I often thought of myself a child of the stars, bound to travel endlessly, because my PLACE never materialized. I thought for sure when I found it , I would know it. Deep in my soul like an unmistakable beat of the heart.

When we were living in Arizona, my intuition told me that I needed to come back to New Mexico. There were reservations, there were doubts, but the thought kept coming back to my soul over and over, it would not be ignored. The universe provided me with a lead on a sublease close enough to Santa Fe, that when I heard about it, my heart lept up, and I knew I had to see it. I knew I had to have it.

Against many, many odds the universe conspired to get me here, to this house. Within a month we were moving from Arizona, to New Mexico. I drove all day and night in a borrowed suburban, with 4 kids, 2 babies under the age of 2, 2 large dogs, 5 cats, and pulling a u haul.

That was October of 2008.

Every day since the day we moved in, I have dreamed of making this house mine.

We are not in the position right now to buy a house. So my dream has stayed secret. But the universe works in mysterious ways, and I have a feeling that if I follow those instincts, the same ones that led me here, the ones that guide me in the unknown, I just may be able to make this dream a reality.

This is my secret midsummer night dream

I dream of cooking at my own hearth

I dream of working at my own corner office

I dream of laying my head to sleep at night, knowing that I never have to move again, if I do not want too. That is my secret midsummer nights dream.

Thanks to Kelly for dreaming up the dream, and inspiring me to come out of the closet, one step colser to making my dream a reality.

What is your secret dream?

Many blessings, Peace and Love, chella

scrappy ghetto fabulous

So I know I said that I was feeling feeling pretty burnt toast on putting up fencing, and that my creativity needed a boost, a diversion. So this is where it took me, to the entrance to my studio. This year the grapes are growing wonderfully, but they were hanging over my doorway to the studio quite heavily. I decided to take some of the extra fencing, and build a small arbor around the entrance. I am happy. Now I can go in and out without having to get swacked by grapes. The doorway itself is still hobbit sized, so I still have to duck going in, but it is much more manageable.

The entrance to my studio, the arbor. If things look a little wonky and crooked, well, they are. That is pretty much how old New Mexico was built, and I have never been into an older house that was level. At first, coming from the straight and extremely level east coast, I was a little taken aback by the unevenness of it all, but I have come to love it, and all its angles, in its entirety.
It speaks of being connected. Homes made of earth, in more organic form, built of mud and clay and by many hands, honed by the eye of the builder, leaning into the land, around rocks and trees, and streams. No bulldozed foundation here,  simply built on a spot that was honored and given consideration to the land that is being built on. This home was built to keep living, generation after generation, snug in the warm earth, safe, sound, solid...and a little bit crooked.

Now the grape vines can stretch out, and make a canopy overhead. I will be adding farielights soon.

The grapes will not be fully ripe for another month, but they are still OH so yummy. They are crunchy and SO sour, and I cannot help but snag one or two when I go inside. My studio is almost complete, but it still needs some tweaking.

Walking in thru the door is the wall of chaos. I am in the process of painting the shelving and such to match, so it appears more streamlined. But it gives a hint of the madness that fuels me.

Some beads... I love finding spice jars at yard sales and thrift stores, to hold my dizzying array of beads

Small jars for small things, looks more crooked here than it is...

I took these pics at dusk, me thinks the lighting could've been better, lets call these the "BEFORE" shots, shall we?

An old collage, one of my first...its simplicity makes me smile

And I leave you with a piece of vintage ephemera...does any one remember rainbow brite? Well this is her horse, starlite. This is from a paper doll set, from when I was small. She has traveled with me all this time. I am not ashamed. I love rainbows, and I am proud. What have you kept from your childhood that makes you smile?  Peace and love, chella

a midsummer night secret dream

Today I am inspired to join a party hosted by Kelly of A Stuffed Life. The past full moon was especially powerful to my psyche, and when I happened upon the invitation to share my secret dream I was driven by the moon to participate. Admittedly the shy and unsure part of me is screaming at the hopeful and optimistic part of me (damn being part Gemini) but I am here posting it still, as there is inside of me a dream burning my soul to be realised. It is a huge dream. So huge it is scary to talk about. SO at this time I will leave it hanging in the otherworld. Until July 17, Midsummer night, where all sorts of secrets shall be revealed, by many other than myself. I cant help but imagine what kind of magical pull that will create within the universe of infinite possibilities. If YOU have a secret dream, join us  here. Many blessings to all, and Happy 4th of July! Be Safe and have fun. What will you be dreaming of today? Peace and Love, Chella

beauty, inspiration, a collage

Hi! All this post digging and fence building has me craving art and beauty, yet at the end of the day I am just dang tired! SO I am trying to spend a little more down time gathering inspiration, working on my blog design, and seeing what all you creative ladies are out there doing. This is a picture of a collage I made, and it hangs above  my computer station to remind me of the beauty that is, every day, even when I am too tired to notice.  What gives you a lift when you are tired? Peace and Love, Chella

summer solistice, a birthday

Yesterday was the Summer Solstice, also known as Litha, or Midsummer, and the official first day of summer. I have always had an affinity for this holiday because my mother, goddess bless her, was so thoughtful to give birth to me on this day, 34 years ago. I have often thought that it was the auspicious date of my birth that contributed to my strange and unusual being. I usually spend my birthday part in celebration, and part in contemplation. Thinking about the past year of my life, where I have been and where I am going, what I would like for myself in the next year. I usually journal and oft do myself a year forecast tarot reading. Some years I do an elaborate ritual celebration, some years it passes quietly.

This year was a quiet reflection as I was too physically exhausted to do much ritual. I spent the day diggin posts for the fence that I am building between the orchard and the garden areas of the yard. In fact that is mostly why I haven't posted as of late, as I have been consumed by the fence project, trying desperately to keep my puppies contained so they do not get run over and  killed! Sirius' accident last week left me with just one focus, and I cannot seem to stop until I am done. Not even for birthday celebration!  I did take a break for a small part of the afternoon to make pie, because I know that the boys did want to celebrate.

I am usually a cake makin kinda gal, especially for birthdays, but this year I was inspired to make a lemon meringue pie, so with Zaelyns assistance, I made a lemon and a lime pie. And it wasn't really a meringue, as I made homemade whip cream to go on top instead. But none the less, it was a great hit, and it was a sweet way to end the longest day of the year.

my first ever homemade lemon pie

I let S put the homemade whip cream on

a slice of delicious lemony yumminess

and a glass of my favorite bevy, Guinness

I got the wonderful pie recipe here, Grandmas Lemon Meringue Pie, and the whip cream was simply whipping cream with a couple tablespoons of sugar, hand whipped until peaks started to form and the cream lost its glossy sheen.

So Happy Solstice to all , and to all a wonderful Midsummers night! What did you celebrate today? Peace and Love, Chella

a little crafty

I am just coming in from my studio, it is one in the morning. After the wee ones were put to bed I still had energy to get out and do a little crafting. This is the first night I have done so since I have set up the studio. It felt so good. Nothing too fancy , I glittered a dozen stars, which I plan to add to the gate that I just built.

And I messed around with an altered page...

I am happy and tired and I will sleep with glitter on the brain tonite. What will you be dreaming of? Peace and Love, Chella

4 days

siri the night before                                                                                                   

I  know I  said I would post every day for the next month. but the last 4 days have been hard, really hard.My sweet puppy Sirius Buddah got run over by a truck early Wednesday evening as I was taking pictures of my stair case to post on this blog. He was not killed, thank the goddess, but he was badly injured. I have spent the last 4 days nursing him back to health and trying to fix all the issues with the fence that allowed him to get out in the first place. It is a huge job. Unfortunately where I live in the country NO ONE in this small community fences or leashes their dogs, so there are always dogs in the road. Personally I am NOT that way with my dogs. As long as I have had dogs, they have been kept in a fenced yard. When we moved here, the fencing was mediocre at best, but as soon as we moved in I set about to fixing it up so my 2 dogs Sati and Sugar could not get out. I re dug posts, spent days straitening bent up old wire fencing, installed a new gate. It was enough to keep them out of the road most of the time. I live on 2 acres, and it was not all 100 percent fenced properly but I was able to keep their excursions to a minimum. Over time though, the other neighborhood dogs proved to be too much of a bad influence and despite my repeated attempts they would charge the gate when we would go to leave and start chasing our car, any car. It was a huge source of stress. Then finally Sugar got killed after running into the road when S was getting ready to back out of the driveway. Her puppies were 4 weeks old. It was a devastating loss, one that I still feel very deeply. SO I have been extremely overprotective of her puppies, only taking them out supervised, and keeping them in back. I thought that the fencing would be OK as long as I could keep them from getting out when we opened the gate to leave.  But I did not take into account their size. Sugar was a big dog, her puppies, still small. So they can fit thru all the places in the fencing that the old dogs could not. Trying to prevent accidents, I have been working like crazy to fix everything, but I just was not fast enough. The neighborhood pack was out,  I was taking pictures of the stairs, and he jumped the gate in all the commotion. As I hurried up the driveway to get him in , a truck approached, and I started yelling at the truck to stop, but he slowed down only to plow over my puppy and then speed off as I screamed. HOW can someone be so cruel as to do something like that, and then drive away? I still cannot wrap my head around it. I saw my baby's hind legs get run over by his tire and I thought he was a goner for sure.  For the last 4 days I have not known for sure if he had internal injuries. He has deep gashed on his legs and he could barely walk. I have been tending to his external wounds and giving him hands on healing for any internal wounds and praying for him to live and be OK. Aside from that I have been mending the fencing like crazy but it is a huge job. I am keeping him in the house until I am done, with short excursions outside to do his business. Tonite he is walking 

without much of a limp, a huge improvement. Tonite I feel hopeful that he is going to be OK. 

the stairs before

the stairs the night of the accident and the gate he jumped over

the driveway gate - before

the driveway gate - now

the new staircase gate that i built today

during a windstorm that did this...

and this...

and these are all downed branches...

So that is where  I have been and what I have been up to the last 4 days.  I pray that the following days will be less eventful, but I have a feeling that not only will I be working on the fence, now I will be picking up a lot of sticks and branches along the way! What did you accomplish while I was gone? Peace and Love, Chella

tonite, the sunset

Tonite, it was the perfect example of why I am absolutely in love with New Mexico. The sunsets here, are glorious, the kind of sunsets that take your breath away and make you feel one and at peace with the universe, with god, with the goddess, whichever you choose to call it, that divine essence that resides deep within the soul. The colors, the texture of the air as it closes in on you, almost as if you can taste the life in the very air itself. I am in love all over again, my spirit renewed. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

NOTE: the pictures on this post have NOT been altered or photoshopped, the colors are truly as my camera captured them...


i love rainbows

faces in the clouds eating rainbow

the face behind me

standing at the top of my driveway

looking up

looking down the road from my house

SO spectacular! I took so many pictures that my batteries died. I stayed outside inhaling the sweetness until the night fell around me like a dark cloak. I wanted to post more picures but my computer is giving me problems at the moment. I will post a couple more tomorrow night. What inspired you today? Peace and Love Chella

thrifted and gifted

 Today I am thinking a lot about thrifting, and what it means to me. Yesterday I posted a link to one of my favorite bloggers, Serena of Apron Thrift Girl,  because she truly lives and breathes the thrifty way. For a long time I never knew so many people were so enthusiastic about a lifestyle that I have lived for so long. I always enjoyed finding treasures at yard sales, church sales, county fairs, thrift stores. My mother has the gift for thrift and taught me well.  I often found that one special thing that would make me so happy, and without paying a fortune for that happiness. Bonus!

After I had my first child is when I started treasure hunting in earnest. I was 22 and living on one income, and desperate to fill my huge apartment with furniture, and decor, that I simply did not have the money for. So using my witchy intuition, I would tell the universe what it is that I needed, and then I would go looking for it. Very often I would find what it was, within a day sometimes 2. I mainly scored down on the streets of the collage town that I lived in, picking off the discards of the wasteful students, who placed anything and everything on the curb. That is when I truly fell in love with the thrill of the hunt. I have been in love ever since. Most of everything that I have is either thrifted or gifted. As I looked around my home tonight I was hard pressed to find much that wasn't! A sample:

            
                                                 a small altar mostly thrifted a little gifted

                                           a yard sale mirror that was navy blue when I got it

           and I adore finding all different deities, and goddesses, and of coarse, the mother herself

As I have grown, and moved around, and had more children, my needs and methods have changed a bit but my essence has stayed the same. Ever confident in the magic of the universe to provide what is truly needed, and with some extra blessings what is truly wanted as well, I revel in the beauty that is the magic of life, the invisible thread that connects all things. I give so much thanks for the rush and the thrill and the satisfaction that my way of life gives. I feel it treads lightly on the earth, benefits the people I purchase from directly, keeps my purchases local and gives back to my community. Weather buying from the thrift stores that reinvest their profits back into the people and animals, or from the person having a yard sale to support themselves and their loved ones, to the church sales that help to fund the spirit, and the community sales that bring neighbors together in a common goal.  When life is as uncertain as the times are now, I have faith that I can still clothe my children nicely, have nice dishes to eat off, beautiful bedding to sleep on, furnishings and decor to keep us comfortable and inspired, art to sooth my spirit, movies to watch, music to enjoy, toys for my babes to play with... I may not be the girl who has the latest greatest of everything, but I have everything I need, lots more to love, and a  beautiful family to pass on my secrets of a life well lived. That is a blessed thing, it is.

Well it just passed midnight so I am going to get this posted, trying to keep in line with my goal of every day post, it is just into the next day. Don't want to push it! Until tomorrow, Peace and Love, Chella

Apron Thrift Girl Giveaway

Well ,Selena at one of my FAVORITE blogs, Apron Thrift Girl is having a super surprise give away for her 4 year blogging anniversary. IF you don't know her already, check out her blog, as she is smart, and thrifty, she writes REALLY well, her advice is plentiful for anyone who wants or does walk the thrifty walk,  and her thrifting finds are really often drool worthy.  I always look forward to her posts and I bet you will too, she truly is an inspiration. Check her out, leave a comment to enter her giveaway,  and ENJOY!

Well , I have a confession. This post was on opportunity for me to break out of my shell, and link up to a site that I absolutely adore and admire, and it feels a bit overwhelming. Actually all of blogging is still new and awkward to me. I have never left a comment on ANY ONES blog before,. I have only been stalking blogs for a couple of months, but am totally submersed in a world that I think I can one day walk with confidence. Just not yet. I am still the shy new girl trying to overcome her insecurities, figure out where I fit in , and what if anything about my life would anyone but my mom (my one faithful reader, THANKS MOM love you!) find interesting enough to look at or read. So that is my truth, and I am putting myself out here and I can only imagine where it will go from here. I thank Selena for her inspiration, and for all you other amazing women out there who inspire me every day. Peace and Love, Chella

found objects

Yesterday I failed to make my post, although I did figure out how to fix some things with my blog that were awry. It took me WAY too long, I am NOT a computer wiz, and that is putting it very nicely! SO I struggled with the blog for so long that once I was done, I had to step away, saying to myself I would post my blog later. HAH! I went outside to work on the staircase I am rebuilding and didn't come in until dark. I was so dog tired that I passed out on the couch watching Heroes on DVD. Which I found at one of my favorite Thrift stores by the way.

                          
It was one of those divine moments where the universe conspires to give you something just at the right moment.  I had gone looking for magazines, they usually have a great selection, and at 25 cents a piece I can usually pick up several.  I am a magazine junkie, I might add. Anyways, it was closing time, and I was the last to check out, as I am paying for my mags, one of the employees comes up to the counter to unload a donation bag right next to me. The first thing he pulls out is the whole first series of HEROES on DVD. Of coarse I was like OH! How much for THAT? 5 bucks. SWEET! Cant get better than that, especially since I had really been wanting it, as I have the next 2 seasons already and have this weird obsession with SETS of things. Especially movies. So it was a blessing, and I was happy, And I fell asleep to it.

My yard is HUGE to me, and it needs a lot of work. The staircase collapsed when we first moved in. I had been meaning to rebuild it, but it wasn't until last month that everything became aligned so that I could actually work on it. Along with the rebuilding comes general maintenance as well. I have cleaned and raked and hauled more than I ever thought was possible. I spend a portion of most days in the yard, working and enjoying. One of the more wonderful things that come with being in the dirt, and close to nature is all the wonderful discoveries along the way...

                                           The strawberry plants scattered in the tall grasses.

                     Mullein growing in wild abandon between the cherry grove and the garden plot...

                                                              The cherry grove in bloom    

                                                    
                                                        And these sweet treasures too...

                                  
The honey comb my son Gabriel found, the birds nest S found, and the head, I found buried in the dirt.  It was a lovely day, and I am happy to share my finds with you.  Did you have any discoveries today? Peace and Love, Chella                          

today, an outfit

           As I may have mentioned, I am a SAHM to 4 kids, and I also live on 2 acres of rural living, of which requires ALOT of maintenance. SO put those 2 things together and we get one mom who doesn't get to dress up nearly as much as I want to! Honestly I don't mind the whole comfortable sneakers bit, and it is much more preferable than doing housework in heels, but deep down inside I am still the funky punky girly girl that I was pre-kids. Today I had to go into town to run an errand, and I get to dress like myself on days such as this. No sneakers required. Since I have committed to posting every day for the next month ( just had to reiterate that to myself), I figured I would post today's outfit. Camo sheer shirt a gift from a friend like 10 years ago, no joke! Dress, a Ross sale item I got for my pregnancy 3 years ago, booty shorts (not shown!) a thrift store find, fishnets, from wherever I can find them, boots (my favorite) a goodwill perfect fit.  All in all a thrifty and different Chella creation.  Now I have to get back into my sneakers, and get back to work! Peace and love, Chella                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

new family member

This is my new baby. I had no intention of bringing home a kitten when I went out last Saturday. I was going to go to the dollar store to pick up a couple packs of hangers. As I reached the dollar store, I just felt the pull to keep on driving. SO I did, not really knowng where I was going. I headed into the nearest town and pulled up to one of my favorite thrift stores. This is interesting I thought to myself. Lets see what is in here that the universe is guiding me to. I went in with my 2 year old daughter, with whom shopping in a cartless store is pure hell, I might add... and started looking around, cursing myself for even going there, becuase I know what an aweful experience shopping without containment is... My daughter was tearing thru the store, trying on shoes and rearranging things, and I am thinking WHY am I here? Then from the back of the store, this woman is askng another woman if she knows anyone who wants kittens. Out of no-where I ask, You have kittens?, as if the words were being pulled from me without my consent. After all I didnt want any kittens... Conversation ensued, and I end up following this woman and her husband back to their house to look at their beautiful kittens. The whole drive there, I am thinking, WHAT are you doing GIRL? Having an entire conversation in my head how I am just going to look and there isn't any reason I should take one home with me... Needless to say, here he is. The boys have taken to calling him Titan, and I must say they were all smitten from the moment I walked in the door. He is SO aweet and personable, and super friendly, with no fear. The perfect match for my chaotic family. Welcome to the clan, Titan.
Peace and love, Chella