When I joined Kelly at a A Stuffed Life , to participate in this party she dreamed up, it seemed kismet at the time. I was giving a lot of deep thought to my life, where it is at, what direction it is going, what I want out of the near and far future, what are the dreams that keep me going when all else falls away.
What has become blatantly clear to me at this point in my life, is that my secret dream can no longer remain secret. It has to be revealed, so that I may start to create it. In real time, for the magic of physical manifestation, it has to be spoken.
I have been a gypsy most of my adult life. I have lived in 8 states in 13 years, in many many houses, trailers, apartments. Even a camper for the better part of a year, exploring the west coast, trying to find my PLACE. Where I felt that I could live my life , the way I wanted. I looked and plotted and chose places at some times, and other times I watched for signs and followed the universe clues as to where I next belonged. It was at times hard, some times exhilarating, all of the time learning and growing and clarifying what is important and what, not so much. Priorities shifted, belongings left behind, friends gathered and collected in every place. I often thought of myself a child of the stars, bound to travel endlessly, because my PLACE never materialized. I thought for sure when I found it , I would know it. Deep in my soul like an unmistakable beat of the heart.
When we were living in Arizona, my intuition told me that I needed to come back to New Mexico. There were reservations, there were doubts, but the thought kept coming back to my soul over and over, it would not be ignored. The universe provided me with a lead on a sublease close enough to Santa Fe, that when I heard about it, my heart lept up, and I knew I had to see it. I knew I had to have it.
Against many, many odds the universe conspired to get me here, to this house. Within a month we were moving from Arizona, to New Mexico. I drove all day and night in a borrowed suburban, with 4 kids, 2 babies under the age of 2, 2 large dogs, 5 cats, and pulling a u haul.
That was October of 2008.
Every day since the day we moved in, I have dreamed of making this house mine.
We are not in the position right now to buy a house. So my dream has stayed secret. But the universe works in mysterious ways, and I have a feeling that if I follow those instincts, the same ones that led me here, the ones that guide me in the unknown, I just may be able to make this dream a reality.
This is my secret midsummer night dream
I dream of cooking at my own hearth
I dream of working at my own corner office
I dream of laying my head to sleep at night, knowing that I never have to move again, if I do not want too. That is my secret midsummer nights dream.
Thanks to Kelly for dreaming up the dream, and inspiring me to come out of the closet, one step colser to making my dream a reality.
What is your secret dream?
Many blessings, Peace and Love, chella