my secret dream

When I joined Kelly at a A Stuffed Life , to participate in this party she dreamed up, it seemed kismet at the time. I was giving a lot of deep thought to my life, where it is at, what direction it is going, what I want out of the near and far future, what are the dreams that keep me going when all else falls away.

What has become blatantly clear to me at this point in my life, is that my secret dream can no longer remain secret. It has to be revealed, so that I may start to create it. In real time, for the magic of physical manifestation, it has to be spoken.

I have been a gypsy most of my adult life. I have lived in 8 states in 13 years, in many many houses, trailers, apartments. Even a camper for the better part of a year, exploring the west coast, trying to find my PLACE. Where I felt that I could live my life , the way I wanted. I looked and plotted and chose places  at some times, and other times I watched for signs and followed the universe clues as to where I next belonged. It was at times hard, some times exhilarating, all of the time learning and growing and clarifying what is important and what, not so much. Priorities shifted, belongings left behind, friends gathered and collected in every place. I often thought of myself a child of the stars, bound to travel endlessly, because my PLACE never materialized. I thought for sure when I found it , I would know it. Deep in my soul like an unmistakable beat of the heart.

When we were living in Arizona, my intuition told me that I needed to come back to New Mexico. There were reservations, there were doubts, but the thought kept coming back to my soul over and over, it would not be ignored. The universe provided me with a lead on a sublease close enough to Santa Fe, that when I heard about it, my heart lept up, and I knew I had to see it. I knew I had to have it.

Against many, many odds the universe conspired to get me here, to this house. Within a month we were moving from Arizona, to New Mexico. I drove all day and night in a borrowed suburban, with 4 kids, 2 babies under the age of 2, 2 large dogs, 5 cats, and pulling a u haul.

That was October of 2008.

Every day since the day we moved in, I have dreamed of making this house mine.

We are not in the position right now to buy a house. So my dream has stayed secret. But the universe works in mysterious ways, and I have a feeling that if I follow those instincts, the same ones that led me here, the ones that guide me in the unknown, I just may be able to make this dream a reality.

This is my secret midsummer night dream

I dream of cooking at my own hearth

I dream of working at my own corner office

I dream of laying my head to sleep at night, knowing that I never have to move again, if I do not want too. That is my secret midsummer nights dream.

Thanks to Kelly for dreaming up the dream, and inspiring me to come out of the closet, one step colser to making my dream a reality.

What is your secret dream?

Many blessings, Peace and Love, chella

scrappy ghetto fabulous

So I know I said that I was feeling feeling pretty burnt toast on putting up fencing, and that my creativity needed a boost, a diversion. So this is where it took me, to the entrance to my studio. This year the grapes are growing wonderfully, but they were hanging over my doorway to the studio quite heavily. I decided to take some of the extra fencing, and build a small arbor around the entrance. I am happy. Now I can go in and out without having to get swacked by grapes. The doorway itself is still hobbit sized, so I still have to duck going in, but it is much more manageable.

The entrance to my studio, the arbor. If things look a little wonky and crooked, well, they are. That is pretty much how old New Mexico was built, and I have never been into an older house that was level. At first, coming from the straight and extremely level east coast, I was a little taken aback by the unevenness of it all, but I have come to love it, and all its angles, in its entirety.
It speaks of being connected. Homes made of earth, in more organic form, built of mud and clay and by many hands, honed by the eye of the builder, leaning into the land, around rocks and trees, and streams. No bulldozed foundation here,  simply built on a spot that was honored and given consideration to the land that is being built on. This home was built to keep living, generation after generation, snug in the warm earth, safe, sound, solid...and a little bit crooked.

Now the grape vines can stretch out, and make a canopy overhead. I will be adding farielights soon.

The grapes will not be fully ripe for another month, but they are still OH so yummy. They are crunchy and SO sour, and I cannot help but snag one or two when I go inside. My studio is almost complete, but it still needs some tweaking.

Walking in thru the door is the wall of chaos. I am in the process of painting the shelving and such to match, so it appears more streamlined. But it gives a hint of the madness that fuels me.

Some beads... I love finding spice jars at yard sales and thrift stores, to hold my dizzying array of beads

Small jars for small things, looks more crooked here than it is...

I took these pics at dusk, me thinks the lighting could've been better, lets call these the "BEFORE" shots, shall we?

An old collage, one of my first...its simplicity makes me smile

And I leave you with a piece of vintage ephemera...does any one remember rainbow brite? Well this is her horse, starlite. This is from a paper doll set, from when I was small. She has traveled with me all this time. I am not ashamed. I love rainbows, and I am proud. What have you kept from your childhood that makes you smile?  Peace and love, chella

a midsummer night secret dream

Today I am inspired to join a party hosted by Kelly of A Stuffed Life. The past full moon was especially powerful to my psyche, and when I happened upon the invitation to share my secret dream I was driven by the moon to participate. Admittedly the shy and unsure part of me is screaming at the hopeful and optimistic part of me (damn being part Gemini) but I am here posting it still, as there is inside of me a dream burning my soul to be realised. It is a huge dream. So huge it is scary to talk about. SO at this time I will leave it hanging in the otherworld. Until July 17, Midsummer night, where all sorts of secrets shall be revealed, by many other than myself. I cant help but imagine what kind of magical pull that will create within the universe of infinite possibilities. If YOU have a secret dream, join us  here. Many blessings to all, and Happy 4th of July! Be Safe and have fun. What will you be dreaming of today? Peace and Love, Chella

beauty, inspiration, a collage

Hi! All this post digging and fence building has me craving art and beauty, yet at the end of the day I am just dang tired! SO I am trying to spend a little more down time gathering inspiration, working on my blog design, and seeing what all you creative ladies are out there doing. This is a picture of a collage I made, and it hangs above  my computer station to remind me of the beauty that is, every day, even when I am too tired to notice.  What gives you a lift when you are tired? Peace and Love, Chella